How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
how do you play pong handcuffed?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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