tell your sister to shave her snatch
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
