4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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