Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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