Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
