Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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