A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
