Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
the room spins SO much faster in panama
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
