Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
