It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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