what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
