I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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