No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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