Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
