theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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