even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Randomize
