I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
