You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
