I think my fart just growled at me.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
