Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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