I love watching others lives come down to our level.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
