my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
