i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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