No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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