If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
