oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
