whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Why did my mother make you get naked?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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