i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
