I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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