how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
