can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
