I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
