watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I still have a little drunk in my system
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
