Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Randomize
