doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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