my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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