How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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