I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
