She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
