Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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