Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
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