I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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