why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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