had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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