I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
