"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
