OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
