lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
