So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
