If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
