okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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